Built-in the Margins: How Life Made Me a Leader
By Ja'Mel Ashely Ware
By the time I was 15, I had no parents.
Orphaned by HIV.
At 16, I had no home.
Abandoned by my paw paw and step-grandmother—rejected for simply being who I am.
That was the beginning of my leadership journey.
Not with a job title.
Not in a boardroom.
But in the streets of Detroit, figuring out how to stay alive—and how to stay me.
Survival Was My First System
From the outside, it looked like I was being "taken in."
One aunt offered a roof. Another shared meals when she could. One more defended my name in rooms I wasn't allowed to enter.
But the truth is, I raised myself.
I graduated from high school with honors and left Detroit for Madison, Wisconsin. I put myself through college while working full-time. At the time, I had no blueprint, no trust fund, and no mentor—just pride, pain, and a whole lot of perseverance.
I was too stubborn to ask for help, too scared to admit I didn't know what I was doing. And because of that, I missed opportunities to grow while others around me were finding their footing.
It wasn't until I stood with my degree in hand—my future unclear—that I realized what was missing: direction.
That's when I began to learn the difference between surviving and leading.
Leadership Found Me in the Margins
My transformation began when I stopped pretending and admitted what I didn't know.
That's when mentors, collaborators, and community began to find me.
God placed entrepreneurs in my path—people building businesses for profit and purpose.
That gave me a new lens:
What problem can I solve with what I already have?
I didn't have technical skills, so I became a social entrepreneur.
I created events and experiences in Madison that brought young professionals of color together to build community, reclaim joy, and practice balance:
Art festivals
Celebrity workshops
Cultural celebrations
I became the person people came to when they needed something done with care, culture, and intention.
That's when I realized:
I wasn't just creating moments—I was creating systems.
The Leader I Am Was Built, Not Born
I know what it's like to be brilliant and broke.
To be doing your best and still feel stuck.
To be embarrassed by your circumstances and still show up with excellence.
So, no—I don't lead from a place of privilege.
I lead from practice.
People say I'm fearless.
I'm not.
I'm scared every single day.
But I move anyway.
Because leadership, to me, is doing what has to be done in the face of fear—not because you want the glory, but because someone has to go first.
We Don't Need Leaders With Just Résumés. We Need Leaders With Receipts.
Receipts of survival.
Receipts of humility.
Receipts of learning in real-time and applying the lesson before the ink is even dry.
Right now, I'm in a season of searching.
Not just for a job—but for a team, a mission, and a place to pour all this lived experience into.
And while I'm grateful for the community holding me down, it's humbling.
But it's not the first time I've been humbled.
And it won't be the last time I rise.
To those reviewing my application, know this:
I may not come from a traditional pipeline.
But I come from purpose.
I may not fit the exact mold.
But I've never had the luxury of waiting for one. I build what I need.
And I bring that same energy to every team I join.
Not because I've studied leadership (though my MBA is loading), but because I've lived it.
If you're looking for someone who can lead with clarity, creativity, and character...
Not in theory, but in the trenches—
I'm already that leader.
5 Leadership Lessons from the Margins
If there's anything my journey has taught me, it's this:
Resilience is a skill—practice it.
Being strong isn't just about bouncing back. It's about building systems for yourself when none exist—and refining them as you grow.
You don't have to know everything—but you do have to admit when you don't.
The moment I stopped pretending, the right people showed up to help me level up. Transparency attracts mentorship.
Purpose can grow from pain.
Every challenge, every closed door, gave me the lens I now use to lead. If you're still in the storm, keep going. It's shaping you.
Start with what you have.
You don't need all the tools—just the will to solve a problem. Build from what's available, and trust that the rest will come.
Leadership doesn't begin with a title—it starts with responsibility.
I didn't wait for permission to lead. I showed up where I was needed. That's the kind of leadership that creates change.
Download the worksheet here:
Receipts over Resumes Self-Audit
This Is Shifting Leaders
#ShiftingLeaders is about leading from lived experience, not polished perfection.
This is the beginning of my book. But more than that, it's the blueprint for the leadership I believe the world is hungry for.
We don't just need professionals.
We need possibility-makers.
I'm one of them.
